The Insufferable Foodie

Awesome Primal Workout: Viking Trekking!

2011-08-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

As I believe I mentioned previously, my friend the Viking Food Guy and I planned an epic "Viking Trek" for this weekend. You can read more about the details on my medieval blog.

It's of interest here because it occurred to me that the food I brought was all reasonably primal (home-made grass-fed beef jerky, grass-fed butter, dried fruits, hazelnuts, and dried vegetables), the shoes I wore were basically prehistoric barefoot shoes (a single layer of leather between you and the Earth and totally non-confining), and hiking with a load is a very "ancestral" workout!

Primal road trip!

2011-07-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in forever! I've been up to no good, as usual. I'm adjusting to living primally but still stumbling a lot. Better Half and I are going on a road trip to Vegas (woooooooo), and I prepared by stockpiling quite an assortment of food for the drive:

Beverages: Electrolyte replacement powder, green tea
Meat: Prosciutto, roast beef, leftover pork loin (not pictured)
Note sad lack of vegetables! Primal fail!
Fruits and nuts: Cherries, macadamia nuts, Brazil nuts
Assorted snacks and other: Larabars, pasture butter, two yogurts (normally a month's ration of yogurt; we'll see how this goes for me), Tanka bites, and two absurd raw vegan desserts from Whole Foods that happened to be basically primal (a mint chocolate "tart" and coconut "macaroons" -- I picked both of these items up off the shelf to show them to Better Half and mock them, then read the ingredients and ended up buying them; screw you, Whole Foods)

Not pictured: I caved and bought a jar of all-natural peanut butter. It's a legume! It's full of aflatoxins! I am probably developing a peanut allergy! But I haven't had the stuff in months, and sometimes when I walk past it on the shelf, I just can't stand it any longer: I have to have some. I'm hoping that the "allergy" is a product of my overactive imagination, as I'm afraid of what life would be like if I really were allergic to peanuts.

A perfect breakfast

2011-06-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

Step 1: Walk to the farmer's market the evening prior and buy some lovely uncured bacon. I got asparagus in my weekly produce box, or I would have also bought some at the market.

Step 2: Cook several slices of bacon to desired crispness. Remove from pan.

Step 3: Wash asparagus well and dry with a tea towel. Break spears in half and fry exuberantly in the bacon fat.

Step 4: Put the asparagus on a plate and salt them (optional). Eat bacon and asparagus with hands.

Step 5: Gloat on the internet. This was delicious. Also, as of yesterday morning, I've lost a grand total of 60 pounds. Hooray for me!

Fish tacos!

2011-05-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

A ridiculously yummy and simple weeknight dinner, or easy to make at home and take to work for lunch. Serves two.

1 previously frozen mahi mahi fillet (thawed)
1-2 tsp "tequila lime" spice blend from Whole Foods, or other spice mix of your choice
1 tsp fat of choice (melted coconut oil is ideal)
3-4 small radishes
Handfull cilantro leaves
Half a tiny red onion
Mango salsa (homemade or purchased)
Limes
3 lettuce leaves per person (okay, okay, Better Half ate corn tortillas; she thinks this paleo business is crazy)
Optional: sour cream for serving

Note: this would have been even better with some avocado, but we didn't have any.

Coat fish with spice mix and fat and grill (we use one of those countertop panini-press type grills) for about 4 minutes per side, or until it flakes easily. Wash and chop radishes, cilantro, and onions. Wash and dry lettuce leaves and arrange on plate. Put fish, salsa, and chopped veggies, avocado, and optional sour cream onto each leaf and serve with lime wedges. If you like salt, add a little salt to each taco before serving.

Nutritional breakdown for half of a recipe: 248 calories, 9 grams of fat (includes 1 tbsp sour cream but not avocado), 15 grams carbohydrate, and 20 grams of protein. Easily doubled.

Observations on Dutifully Tracking

2011-05-14T08:44:00.001-07:00

Tracking with Daily Plate has been revelatory, in a good way. In switching over to Weight Watchers (it's free through my work, I thought I'd give it a try last fall, I've lost over 20 pounds since joining, but it's never really felt right for me), I lost the ability to see how my macronutrients were breaking down every day. I was still choosing mostly paleo foods (with the addition of some dairy fat), but I wasn't able to see how things were stacking up.

Well, now I can, and two things stood out right away: carbs and protein. I'm actually doing fine on the carbs, which is really heartening. I'm even able to stay on target (under 80g per day) and still have moderate amounts of fruit, and occasional drizzles of honey. This is a good thing. The protein story is not as good. I was really feeling hungry when I was strictly tracking with WW and keeping within my daily points, so I knew something had to be amiss; sure enough, I have not been getting enough protein. Now it's really nice for me to be able to log on and track and see, yeah, I'm still hungry because I'm 10-20 grams short on protein. Let's go have a Tanka bar (by the way, why, why, WHY do these have sugar in the cranberries??? I love these stupid things and I don't have time to go back to making my own pemmican, but it annoys me that they have added sugar; I digress) or some steak or something.

One issue I'm having with all of this is it's been a looonnnng time (and almost 60 pounds :D) since having my body fat tested, so I'm winging it a little on the LBM calculation. Better Half and I have actually been talking about buying a better scale anyway, so I may do some research and see if any of the ones that measure %fat are remotely accurate.

Things are looking up. The scale has already budged down a bit this week, which is awesome, and I'm not seeing as much day-to-day fluctuation as I had been. My calorie percentage breakdown seems to be around 55-60% fat, 15-20% carbs, and 20-25% protein. I did go ahead and have a "cheat" meal last night, enjoyed the hell out of it without going overboard, and am back on track this morning.

I'm settling into a routine

2011-05-09T18:48:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while!

I'm still struggling with sticking with it. I'll go for a week and do just fine, then have some big stupid carbfest meal. Change is hard.

On the other hand, I am really falling into a routine, which is good. Breakfast is boiled eggs (I sprang for one of those countertop egg cooker dealies, and it is AWESOME) with pasture butter, lunch is protein + vegetables (I've been taking the lazy way and eating additive-free rotisserie chicken plus frozen organic vegetables fairly often), I sometimes have a fatty snack in the afternoon (I often just "freebase" the pasture butter), and then dinner is a fancier variant of protein + vegetables. Better Half is liking the dinners, at least, even if I haven't persuaded her to come over to the fat side at lunch or breakfast.

In the past month, I have lost zero pounds, and I know why: I haven't been very serious about it. I haven't been tracking, I've had quite a few "effit" days ("I could make good choices... or... ahh, eff it"). I think the lack of tracking is really killing me. I'm so fed up with the WW tracking system, as they don't show you the macronutrient breakdown. I think I need to go back to using Daily Plate, or maybe switch over to fit tracker. Also, I have not upped my activity level. I'm still doing low intensity daily (walking DogMonster); I really need to add more high intensity workouts. I'm not sure when I'll be able to do that, though, as, through no fault of my own, I pretty seriously bruised my tailbone last week and I'm still in beaucoups pain.

Actually, to be fair, I gained 5 pounds in the week after getting my wisdom teeth out, and I have lost that and a little more; but all that means is I still weigh what I did before the tooth surgery.

I have, however, noticed that my clothes fit differently. My pants are getting looser. So it's possible that I am losing fat / putting on some muscle. This would be a really good thing, I've been really worried that following CW means I'm ditching both fat and muscle, which I'd rather not do. I really need to get my body fat % tested, speaking of.

I still want to do a 30 day challenge, but I'm afraid I have to wait until the school year ends before I start one.

In the next 7 days, I challenge myself to:
-Try tracking on Daily Plate and see how it goes
-See what kind of activity I can handle with the injured butt bone
-Find ways to feel like I'm "splurging" without going off-plan

Beautiful Primal Workout on Saturday

2011-04-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend Better Half and I went to a medieval food symposium. It was tucked away in the woods, so I got to get my nature-love on. On Saturday morning, we got in some great outside/exercise time. We walked around, ran around, threw snowballs, and stalked through the woods as quietly as possible. Later, we went on a little hike. Divine!

Running as a fun thing to do is completely novel to me. Even as a kid, I didn't run around much. I was no good at games, so I spent my time doing activities that involved sitting. Lots of sitting. Since losing weight and becoming more active, I've discovered that running is actually a lot of fun. So on Saturday when I came to a big open clearing, I ran around. I was wearing medieval garb at the time, making it extra silly, but it was seriously awesome.

I wish I lived closer to woods. I need more places to play.

The most delicious thing... EVER.

2011-04-07T19:44:00.001-07:00

I really, really, REALLY like to make pie. My identity is so completely wrapped up in pie that I named my medieval alter-ego after pie (see my other "blogge" for more on my medieval alter ego). I do not want to give up making pie, and I don't plan to, so as previously promised I have continued my quest to make bacon-pies. Tonight's experiment with the medium was extraordinarily successful:

Sagey Apple-Onion Pie with Bacon Lattice Top

The recipe was dead simple, and the result was unbelievably delicious:

Core and chop 3 apples (I chopped them into approximately 3/4" cubes) and put into a 9" square baking dish. Helpful hint: apple dishes are tastiest with a mix of apple varieties. I had a few to use up from the produce box, so I used a granny smith, a braeburn, and... something yellow with no tag. Chop an onion coarsely and a few sage leaves finely and add to the apples. Mix with hands. Cut 8 strips of bacon in half lengthwise, and weave into a lattice on top of the filling. (Weaving a lattice top is not as hard as it seems -- start in the middle and work out.) Bake at 400°F for 35-45 minutes, until bacon reaches desired crispness.

This would be more fitting in the fall; it would make a great stuffing alternative, I think.

Extra-Lemony Homemade Mayonnaise with Healthy Oils

2011-04-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

1 pasture egg yolk
1/2 cup walnut oil
1/4 cup olive oil
juice of 1 lemon
1/2 teaspoon salt (or more, or less)
1/2 teaspoon honey (or more, or less)

Put the yolk, salt, honey, and lemon juice into the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. Mix briefly. With the mixer on high, add the oils (I measured them both into a Pyrex container and poured from the spout) a few drops at a time until it starts to look lighter. Switch to a steady but very small stream of oil until you've used all of the oil and you have miraculously ended up with mayonnaise!

I tried to make stick blender mayonnaise and failed. I'm going to stick with using the Kitchen Aid as long as I'm using the expensive oils (which make failure scary).

Nettles!

2011-04-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

Nettles ready for the dehydrator

I forgot to post about the nettles! They are epic! I was able to pick lots, I only got stung a little, and they were at the absolute perfect stage.

I blanched some to serve tonight with pasture butter as a side dish for our (scary stuff free) corned beef, and as promised I'm going to dry the rest for tea and trekking.

Does fate have other plans for me?

2011-04-03T08:01:00.001-07:00

Better Half and I went out to dinner last night at everyone's favorite big chain / wishes it were upscale but falls short / pseudo-Chinese restaurant for a date. I decided not to sweat it too much but pick the best options I possibly could -- avoiding grains, skipping dessert, and ordering an extra vegetable side dish. I know there were ingredients I don't want in the things I ate, nothing was organic or locally sourced, blah blah blah, but I'm going to let it slide. This journey is going to take time and I'm taking it one step at a time. Right now I'm at changing what I buy at home, going out less frequently, making the best possible choices I can when I do go out, and giving myself one total cheat meal per week (which was on Friday night, when epic fries were eaten).

At the end of the meal, I opened my fortune cookie (although I didn't actually eat it) and the fortune inside was:

"Be good to yourself. Dessert three times per week is OK."

WHAT? WHAT? I laughed so hard. 1) Way to contradict yourself, fortune cookie. Eating crap food is not being good to myself. 2) Way to try to sell more dessert, PF Chang's, you classy bastards. 3) SCREW YOU, FORTUNE COOKIE! I have made a commitment to living better and you undermine me like that? Damn, that's harsh!

Better Half's fortune was that she will get an unexpected inheritance this year, which is basically like saying "Someone you love will die." We decided to write off whole business of listening to cookies.

Nettles!

2011-04-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

Better Half and I are taking the dog to the park this morning, and she doesn't know it yet but while we're there I'm going to try to harvest some nettles. Long sleeve shirt, gloves, bag, scissors... this foraging adventure requires gear!

I'm going to cook some as a side dish with our corned beef brisket tonight and dry some as rations for my primitive trek this summer.

Ah yes, the primitive trek: the greatest plan ever conceived! So Viking Food Guy and I are totally going to do a "Viking trek" this August, where we wear historical clothes, eat historical food, and use historical gear on a magical backpacking adventure! What could be more primal???? Even my Iron Age style shoes are basically barefoot shoes: a thin layer of leather between me and the earth. I of course do not do Viking, so I will be Celtic trekking. (Hmm, can I find a source on woad online?) Anyway, how this relates to food is that I've been doing a lot of dehydrating in preparation. I made some oatcakes before taking the plunge into primal, and I dried one to see how long it would keep. Last fall I made salted beef, which I will most likely make again as it seems to lend itself to cooking more than my standard jerky. My mom gave me a bunch of dried food from her garden for Christmas, including carrots and cabbage strips. I've dried turnips (and it turns out that dried turnips are pretty good!), too. Nettles are very nutritious and delicious and people dry them for tea all the time, so I think they would make for great trekking provisions.

We're also planning to fish and forage on our adventure. Seriously, this is going to be the most fun thing EVER. Our respective spouses are coming with us to keep us from dying in the woods and to photodocument the trip.

Yummy dinner and an interesting experiment

2011-03-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

I really, really, REALLY like mushrooms. Whenever a package comes in the bi-weekly produce bin, I cook them and eat them right away.

Better Half really, really, REALLY hates mushrooms. She goes mushroom hunting with me, points at them, and yells "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KILL IT!" She will not eat them. She once proposed that I get separate pans for mushrooms, that none of her food would ever touch. So the mushrooms, when they come, are all for me.

This tends to mean that I get to experiment more with mushrooms than with other food -- if I only have myself to please, I don't really care if I produce something odd.

Tonight I had a delicious lamb shoulder with greens and foraged field mustard florets and mushrooms cooked in butter:

The foraging was great. I took the dog for a walk and we climbed up an embankment after the mustard. I couldn't reach the biggest plant, but I definitely got a good workout hiking up and down the hill. I also picked some miner's lettuce, but decided it was probably dog-peed-on so I ended up tossing it.

While I was cooking dinner, I decided I would do something odd with the rest of the mushrooms. We had some bacon already (alderwood smoked no preservatives no nitrates and so forth), and we got TWO leeks in the box this week meaning last week's leek has no room. Leeks and mushrooms and bacon are always a winning combination. But what to do? Inspired by a memory of a fantastic 18th century British recipe once featured on Two Fat Ladies for a Mitton of Pork, I decided to layer the mushrooms and leeks, sprinkle them with mace, and enclose them, pie-like, in bacon, then bake.

Step one: line tiny deep-dish pie dish with bacon:

Step two: slice mushrooms and leeks and layer them in the dish, sprinkling each layer with a little mace. (Note: I used too much mace. 1/8 tsp is plenty. I shouldn't have eyeballed it.)

Step 3: Top with bacon, tucking in ends of other pieces to make a little parcel:

(Note: You can see that, like an idiot, I put still MORE mace on it at this point. I don't know what my plan was, honestly.)

Step 4: Bake at 400 degrees until bacon is crispy and vegetables are soft, about 30 to 40 minutes:

So, other than HOLY CRAP WHY DID I PUT SO MUCH MACE IN THIS (I really like mace, but I got a little carried away), this was pretty good! It was easy, the flavors blended well... yeah, good stuff! Better Half suggested trying the same technique with apples and onions instead, which just sounds awesome and I can't wait to try it.

A fantastic dinner from a few weeks ago

2011-03-27T20:20:00.001-07:00

Awesome salad with seasoned grass-fed beef patty, a photo by laurelfactorial on Flickr.

Seasoned grass-fed beef patty (I added ground up thyme, sage, and garlic, plus salt, formed the beef into patties and cooked them under the broiler) with a salad of romaine lettuce, goat cheese, cherry tomatoes, pasture eggs, and home-made honey mustard dressing (which wasn't strictly primal).

Totally delicious and Better Half loved the salad. She didn't like the meat, which meant I ate two! :D Hee hee!

Why to buy pasture eggs

2011-03-27T20:16:00.001-07:00

Why to buy pasture eggs, a photo by laurelfactorial on Flickr.

Look at the color of the yolk! Also, they are unbelievably delicious.

Stumbling toward the light!

2011-03-27T19:55:00.001-07:00

I'm desperately trying to get back to eating normal-to-me food after the horrorshow of my post-tooth-removal, but it's been unbelievably hard. Meat is difficult to chew, vegetables get stuck in my tooth-holes something fierce, it's bad news all around. But tonight I did make a very nice dinner, and Better Half liked it too. Behold: coconut curry mahi mahi over cauliflower rice:

We bought some frozen tofu-equivalent (a term we use for meats that are easy to prepare/non-scary/uniform -- Better Half and I were both vegetarians for a long period of time so cooking meat was scary to us for a while) mahi mahi fillets. I thawed one and baked it in a mixture of coconut milk (light, which I know is not really primal but since I've been so carby lately I'm afraid to go back to megafat right away), curry powder, fish sauce, lime juice, and Sriracha hot sauce. All told I think I baked it a little over 30 minutes (Better Half always wants the fish overdone, and I find I kind of lean that way too). About 15 minutes before it was done, I quartered some tomatoes and put them on top.

We got a beautiful head of orange cauliflower, so to go with this I decided to try my hand at cauliflower "rice". I split the head into florets, steamed them, and grated them in the food processor. The color was incredible! I'm afraid now I've spoiled myself for this dish, I don't think I would have enjoyed it even half as much without the wild color.

This was fantastic and I will totally make it again.

I think I'm back

2011-03-22T21:56:00.001-07:00

I just made chicken liver pate, now I'm frying up some chicken hearts to spread it on. I'm not sure how I plan to eat the chicken hearts (suck the juices from them?), but the pate is amazing.

I think I must be feeling better.

Argh!

2011-03-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Getting my teeth pulled on Friday has completely thrown a wrench into all of this. I just can't manage real food -- all I've been eating are smoothies, soft processed carbs, yogurt, and milkshakes. I did make myself some nutritious chicken glop (with sort of a medieval feel to it -- chicken cooked in almond milk with pomegranate molasses and spices) and pureed greens, but even that was just too much for me. I'm definitely making choices based on what seems the easiest and I'm also for sure "eating my emotions." This experience has freaked me out more than I thought it would and I'm in pain even with the painkillers (I am trying to take the minimum dose I can manage and I held out on taking narcotic pain medication until late last night). I feel like I'm taking some major steps backwards in my journey toward wellness and non-crazy eating, but I have decided not to beat myself up about it too much. It's kind of like how when we took the dog to puppy class and he would be much more poorly behaved than normal and the trainer pointed out how much better it was for him to be ill behaved in the unique circumstance than every day -- if I can recognize that this extreme circumstance, which will almost certainly never happen again (prior to this I had never even really had a filling), is an anomaly, it doesn't have to mean I've failed or even mean I'm taking steps backward. I am instead going to take it as retreating to regather before making a major leap forward.

Greens soup from last Sunday

2011-03-13T20:20:00.001-07:00

IMG_8801 a photo by laurelfactorial on Flickr.

Right out of the PBC (although I used less liquid). It was amazing!

Ridiculously yummy dinner

2011-03-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

Beef stir fry with broccoli and and bok choi, based on a recipe in the PBC. Lots and lots of vegetables! Lots and lots of flavor! Very very yummy! Would totally make again.

I also made, on a whim, "primal cake." Here's the recipe:

1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup almond meal
1/2 cup coconut milk
2 eggs
About 1/2 cup of a mix of frozen blueberries and cranberries

Beat all ingredients together in stand mixer. I baked it in a miniature baking pan made for my toaster oven for 20 minutes. The result is remarkably yummy and moist, and surprisingly cake-like. I cut it into very small pieces, about 1" by 2". It would be better with a little bit of cinnamon or maybe ginger, but it's a good start for a simple, healthy baked treat.

Back on track

2011-03-13T12:58:00.001-07:00

Breakfast -- bacon, eggs, tomatoes, apple, and frozen concoction of blueberries and coconut milk

Lunch -- not sure if I'll have any

Dinner -- hoping to do beef stir fry with broccoli and bok choy

Exercise: I will walk the dog today, damn it! Maybe a little core work with the ball?

ETA: Successful "hunt" at Whole Paycheck (ugh), acquired grass fed meat for myself and the dog. Also, marrow bones! Will be experimenting with marrow one night this week.

I walked the dog for 20 minutes in the cold and wet before I wussed out. I'll try to run around with him more tonight and do some core work as a break.

I have a ton to do to get ready for work tomorrow, and this week is going to be somewhat hellish as we have conferences two nights so I'll be stuck at work for a good 13 hours on each of those days. This means that dinners this week might be dicey... I suppose I can always get a salad at the barbecue place, or maybe see what options the Mexican restaurant has (fajitas without the tortillas?).

Goal for tomorrow: make a real breakfast (eggs with broccoli rabe is the plan), find time to exercise between the end of school and the start of conferences. Maybe go for a walk in the park?

Why I am changing my eating habits

2011-03-12T17:02:00.001-08:00

Baking bread was fun, and the resulting whole-wheat loaf was really yummy (especially with butter and honey!) but now I feel kind of crappy.

Some thoughts on all of this

2011-03-12T00:08:00.001-08:00

I feel like I need to put "primal" in quotes since I'm eating so much fruit, and occasional tiny amounts of honey.

The fruit thing... man. I really like fruit. I understand the reasoning behind fruit playing a minor roll in a modern paleo diet, but damn, I really like fruit. I've decided for now for me fruit is okay.

So far I feel good. The food I'm eating is yummy and satisfying and I feel energetic. I'm still really struggling to be as active as I want to be, though. I'm also down 3 pounds since Wednesday morning -- on the scale today I am officially down 55 pounds since January 2010. No doubt I'll undo that with my planned cheat day today for bread baking, but I'm not too worried. I've reached this place with my weight loss where I know I can do it and I know that I can take breaks and get back on the horse, and if taking breaks is what allows me to do this then I'm fine with that. I feel like I've taken a break after basically each 10 pound milestone; sometimes long breaks, sometimes short breaks. I haven't gained back any weight on those breaks (okay, except over Christmas, but the net gain was 4 pounds and I lost that and more in one week of getting back on track) and they allow me to not get that crazy deprived feeling. I've been itching for a break since hitting 50 pounds.

Actually, that's part of why I've been eating the way I've been eating: I planned to take a 2-3 week hiatus from tracking with Weight Watchers because I've been feeling kind of burned out and I have upcoming wisdom tooth surgery -- I have pretty much decided that after I get my wisdom teeth out I will eat whatever foods don't make me miserable and I won't beat myself up about it. If eating primally works well for me, I will continue. If not, I will go back to tracking with Weight Watchers (and eating how I was eating, which was very, very limited processed junk and sugar and a moderate but not necessarily restricted amount of carbs -- my typical day was yogurt or cottage cheese in the morning, fruit mid-morning, meat and vegetables and fruit for lunch, then for dinner we'd often do pasta, or meat and vegetables, or meat and vegetables and grain-product of some kind).

I think I'm going to start setting daily goals. Today's goal: 20 minutes of yoga or core work with the bouncy ball before I go to bread baking.

If you are reading this and thinking the kinds of things that most people think about fat people ("You are lazy and not serious and you are obese because you can't stick with anything etc etc etc") I disagree with you. Keep in mind that this same basic approach of punctuated equilibrium (NOT yo-yoing: my weight has not gone UP in all this time) has brought me here, which is 50 pounds smaller than I was before.

What I ate today

2011-03-11T17:24:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: beef jerky (home made) with pasture butter, a pear, and two "primal bites."

I had an apple mid morning.

Lunch: Chicken caesar salad, no croutons and no cheese. Dressing I'm sure has non-primal stuff in it but for going out to the barbecue place that slathers everything in sauce and has only battered / deep fried sides, I felt like I did okay.

When I got home from work, knowing dinner will take a while, I had a slice of bacon and a tiny tangerine.

Dinner will be pot roast (beef with onions and herbs) with baked acorn squash (with pasture butter and sage) on the side. I might make baconnaise slaw, too. More veggies are definitely needed.

Tomorrow I'm planning a "cheat" day to bake bread with a friend.

All primal, all day

2011-03-10T20:29:00.001-08:00

I am eating lots of fruit, almost certainly enough to tip me into dubious levels of total carbs, but again, BABY STEPS -- avoiding processed food, grains, and sugar. I had sushi last night for dinner, though (and it was awesome), so I'm not fully committed to this yet, really.

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: eggs with cream and butter, two kiwis
Mid-morning: apple, sunflower seeds
Lunch: beets (cooked), carrots (raw), ground grass-fed beef patty (seasoned with garlic, sage, and thyme and cooked like a gigantic meatball)
Afternoon: an orange, some coconut milk, and a "primal bite"
Dinner: Broccoli salad with bacon, pecans, and raisins (recipe out of the PB cookbook) with dressing made with freshly made baconnaise. Yes, that's mayonnaise made with bacon fat. Dear sweet Jesus, I know. I actually used half bacon fat and half walnut oil, and it was OMG INCREDIBLE.
Dessert: Frozen blueberries

Given what's been in the produce box, I'm trending really heavily to the higher carb vegetables and fruits. I see a definite need for more greens. Good thing I like them so much!

Fish, stuffed with more fish!

2011-03-08T17:58:00.001-08:00

IMG_8798 a photo by laurelfactorial on Flickr.

Okay, so shrimp aren't fish. Whatever. But behold the glory of the mackerel, stuffed with shallots, sage, and little bittie shrimpies.

Pretty yummy! I liked the shrimp the best. The fish was too scary for Better Half, so next time I think fish-that-doesn't-look-like-fish is how we'll roll. Not gonna lie, the fish was actually a little much for me, too. I've never really been that into fish, and sometimes fish makes me want to barf, so this dinner was a big step for me.

Definitely more misses than hits, so far

2011-03-08T17:44:00.001-08:00

Hmm, stress at work (grades due Friday! yikes!), early meetings (so no time to make a real breakfast), and too much to do (an unexpected project at home) has put a serious ding in my ability to cook, which is definitely hampering the plan. I even resorted to a frozen lunch at work today. But I did make the stuffed mackerel and greens soup on Sunday, and it was awesome, and I made myself some simple "mostly-primal bites," a quick snack or breakfast addition with coconut/walnut oil, ground almonds, raisins, dried cranberries (sweetened, but with apple juice), chopped nuts, and a tiny bit of honey -- not strictly carb free, but on the right path.

I'm thinking a couple of things: I need to do more planning, and I need to purchase foods that are VERY quick to prepare. Better Half ordered a fancy counter-top grill thingy, so I'm thinking the way to make this work for me is to some combination of grilled meat plus speedy veggie for dinner, salads or leftovers for lunch, and... still not sure about breakfast. I'm thinking what I really want for breakfast is home made pemmican and some fruit, but that would require me to make more pemmican, which is kind of a project.

So, I guess I am still stumbling. I'm also looking ahead to getting my wisdom teeth out next week (ARGH), and I'm seriously thinking I'll just cut myself some slack and eat nothing but pudding and mac'n'cheese for a week, otherwise that time (which is spring break) would perfectly coincide with the best time to undergo a serious dietary change.

next post: pictures of the fish!

Primal Experiments

2011-03-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

The Insufferable Foodie has decided to dabble more seriously in a paleo diet. I purchased The Primal Blueprint Cookbook yesterday (I really enjoy reading Mark's Daily Apple), the immediately went grocery shopping and bought some ingredients to make some things that looked super yummy. I then came home and flagged all of the recipes in the book that I want to make sure I try "right away" and then realized I had flagged 36 individual recipes, which in a relatively short cookbook like this is a lot. I think it's fair to say I'm excited.

I don't want to declare that I AM DOING THIS AND IT IS FOREVER AND I HAVE FOUND A WHOLE NEW WAY OF EATING ETC, but it does interest me and I'd like to document how it goes, so I'm reviving this blog.

Since the last time I posted here, I have lost 50 pounds. I started by doing Daily Plate, lost just over 30 lbs, then hit a plateau. Then I joined Weight Watchers (I can do it for free through work), and have lost just under 20 lbs on that. Through all of this, I find that my diet has been slowly working its way toward paleo. I've been drawn to a paleo diet for... gosh, years, but always afraid of failure. Yesterday I decided I'm not afraid of "failure" anymore because in this instance there's no such thing as failure. I don't have to commit to never eating dairy or carbs or processed food again. I will still lead a normal life and if I really want to indulge, I will. What I am going to commit to is ramping up what I'm already doing, which is limiting processed food, limiting carbs, and limiting dairy (I am mildly lactarded, after all). Oh, and exercising more/differently, but that's outside the scope of this blog. I'm also finding that I'm drawn more to Sisson's primal model rather than other versions of paleo as his seems a lot more flexible and realistic rather than being about crazy restriction. I am still going to track points through Weight Watchers, although since it is impossible to track macronutrients I might have to do something else in addition / instead.

Now I will babble about food!

At the grocery store, I bought:

Grass fed beef for pot roast
Grass fed beef for jerky for my dad
Grass fed ground beef (plan to make meatballs to facilitate quick and easy bento-type lunches)
Pasture-raised eggs
Wild-caught mackerel
Little bitty shrimpies
Pasture butter (this was my splurge of the week)
Coconut milk (light and regular)
Sage
Shallots

We get a produce box every other week, so my produce purchases are usually minimal.

Things I'm planning to make this week:

Mackerel stuffed with shrimp, shallots, and sage, with creamed greens soup on the side (at Better Half's request, this will be with heavy cream instead of coconut milk)
Pot roast, with mashed squash and parsnips on the side
Coconut-blueberry "ice cream" (either unsweetened or honey sweetened) as a treat, possibly with pecans!
Mahi mahi (we have some frozen) in some kind of coconut-curry with bok choi, haven't hammered out the details yet

For breakfasts I'm either going to do eggs, if I have time, or just homemade jerky and some fruit. For lunches I'm going to probably make something like coleslaw today and then round that out with aforementioned meatballs, hard boiled eggs, nuts, and fruit. Other dinners during the week will be made up on the spot. At least one night I will probably be eating carby, processed frozen food (I have some evol burritos).

For breakfast I had pasture eggs, pasture butter, melon, and kiwi (very carby fruits, but I've decided at least for now not to care about this). For lunch I'm planning a salad with lettuce, beets, goat cheese, grapefruit, and honey mustard dressing (which is not paleo at all, but again, I'm focusing on the bigger picture right now.

I'm planning to take pictures of the fish tonight and post them.

Solstice Cookies

2009-12-21T15:01:00.000-08:00

Cream together:

2 sticks butter
1 cup sugar

Add, and beat:

Zest of one orange
1/2 cup finely chopped crystallized ginger
1 egg

Mix together then add slowly:
3 cups flour
Pinch salt
1 tsp baking powder

Add also:
1 T lemon juice

Form dough into log. Chill 2+ hours. Slice into 1/8" cookies and bake 6-9 minutes at 400°

Epic Pie

2009-11-01T14:16:00.001-08:00

Epic Pie
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I made this after we went to Hood River for the Heirloom Apple Festival. It has winesaps and pippins and my signature streusel and lattice top crust, as per Better Half's request.

It was completely awesome and unspeakably delicious. Also, my first time making pie crust with the new food processor Better Half gave me.

Water Kefir Update

2009-10-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

I ended up letting it sit until Monday as it wasn't very fizzy. I started another batch that day which I decanted just now. The grains have multiplied enough that I went ahead and split them into two bottles. The latest batches each have 1/8 cup honey, small handful raisins, and half a lemon.

Water Kefir

2009-10-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Someone gave me some "water kefir" grains and I've started fermenting with them. I used:

3 cups water
1/4 cup sugar (organic evaporated cane juice)
half an organic lemon
2 tiny dried figs
A little less than 1/4 cup dried "grains" (culture/starter)
Sliced fresh ginger

I did this in a large mason jar, started it yesterday afternoon. I'll check on it today, it's supposed to ferment in 24-72 hours.

The finished product the other person had made was delicious. Fermented and fizzy, and I could taste the lactobacilli. I love probiotics.

I'll keep you posted.

Octodogs!

2009-09-29T10:08:00.001-07:00

Octodogs!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I've always wanted to make these and I finally did. They turned out great!

Our amazing dinner

2009-06-15T15:33:00.001-07:00

Our amazing dinner
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Mini ravioli, butter, parmesan cheese, the fresh favas with caramelized shallots, and bacon. The bacon wasn't that good, but overall this was INSANE. A+++++++ would make again. Fava beans are so totally worth the stupid amounts of effort.

Cheesecake is good

2009-02-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

I'm growing increasingly fond of Ava's Roasteria in Beaverton, where I am in fact writing from at this very moment. It's a sweet little coffee shop combined with a study mecca (I'm pretending to study right now, in fact) with all the amenities -- wifi, caffeine, food, and the cleanest bathroom ever (bar none!)

They have some insane pastries. I'm a huge fan of the German Cheesecake, even if it is covered in chocolate (I never got the chocolate gene). It's really creamy and rich, and even if $4.25 seems like a lot for a little individual-sized cake, I think it's a good price for what you're getting. As for drinks, I am not a coffee drinker, and Ava's definitely delivers on that count. I'm a sucker for Italian sodas, and I have two favorites here: lime with coconut (sing with me now!) and, one Better Half discovered, watermelon with cream. Mmm.

100th post

2008-12-31T09:51:00.001-08:00

Today's delicious breakfast:

A local bosc pear, Armenian braided string cheese, unbelievably wonderful cardamom tea with lots of sugar and a little milk.

Life is good.

The best way to cook chanterelles

2008-11-18T12:39:00.001-08:00

My current favorite method of preparing my favorite mushroom:

-Brush clean with pastry brush. If they're really grukky, wash them GENTLY and dab off excess moisture with towel.
-Use fingers to shred into long, thin pieces.
-Heat cast iron skillet fairly hot (medium-high on my stove)
-Add mushrooms (nothing else!) and cook briefly, stirring often, to get some of the moisture out. Don't put too many in the pan at once or they'll just be rubbery.
-Add some butter and continue cooking until mushrooms are quite a bit smaller than they started, browned, and some are even starting to look crispy.
-Remove from pan, salt, eat.
-Exclaim with delight.

When Anglophilia, science nerds, and cooking collide

2008-09-30T09:53:00.001-07:00

The inside of a kidney is beautiful!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I bought lamb kidneys at the farmers market and made steak and kidney pie.

It was pretty good, and as a bonus cutting open the kidneys (shown here) was COMPLETELY AWESOME.

I win at Anglophile

2008-09-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

I made a steak and kidney pie.

It's actually quite good! But I added too much broth.

Kidneys basically taste like liver, strong flavor with a creamy texture. I think I like them. Of course, the pie is loaded with Worcestershire sauce, so it would be hard for me to NOT like it.

noooooooooooooooo

2008-09-03T15:21:00.001-07:00

My favorite Chipotle burrito is going to be lead to my death. I knew this, but seeing the numbers all laid out like this is just horrifying.

(My burrito: tortilla, rice, carnitas, tomato salsa, sour cream, cheese, and guacamole.)

BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT. I LOVE YOU, BURRITO.

God, just thinking about it makes me want one, and I'm not even hungry.

Speaking of things that are going to kill me, my new life goal is to make a Luther Burger.

Zounds! The Omnivore's 100!

2008-09-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

Check out this fantastic post at Very Good Taste:

"Here’s a chance for a little interactivity for all the bloggers out there. Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognise everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results."

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea Okay so I am cheating a little here, I have had nettles as an edible green but I'm not certain I've had them as tea. I'm counting it anyway.
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare This one I'm not positive. I know I've had carpaccio, which is obviously very similar, but I don't know for certain if I've had actual steak tartare -- I would like to.
5. Crocodile Okay okay, so I haven't had croc. But I have had alligator, and I think that should count.
6. Black pudding I tried a little in Ireland. I think it kind of reminded me of eating scabs. I would maybe like to give this one another chance, as an adult.
7. Cheese fondue But of course! A popular dish when my mom is cooking.
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart Oh yesssssssssssss
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle Again I am cheating -- I'm only sort of sure I've had something flavored with black truffle. However, I have had a great quantity of Oregon White Truffles, and Oh God, the tasty.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes Of course! I've made blackberry wine and Arbutus wine.
19. Steamed pork buns alugalahgalugalgualghagl... (that's the drool noise)
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
~~23. Foie gras~~ I can't see myself eating this because the thought of it makes me sad.
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese -- I would only eat this if I made it myself from a pig I raised myself and knew did not POSSIBLE have any kind of spongiform encephalopathy. Things with brains freak me the hell out.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut And I've made it, too!
35. Root beer float
~~36. Cognac with a fat cigar~~ I like how cigars smell but I can't see myself ever smoking.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk Once, when I was very little. I didn't like it.
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine -- No but I want it SO. BAD.
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads -- This one is high on my "to be eaten" list.
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst -- Another food I long to try but never seem to get around to.
65. Durian Don't believe the lies, this shit is delicious. It's like custard.
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis -- I'm sourcing ingredients to make my own! The problem is, there are complex laws on selling sheep organs. As usual, the goddamn government is keeping me down.
69. Fried plantain
~~70. Chitterlings, or andouillette~~ I use intestines to make sausages, but there's something about chitlins that turns my stomach.
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini I think my mom made this once.
73. Louche absinthe --- Ooooooh, want!
74. Gjetost, or brunost This is another one that I think I've had but I'm not certain.
~~75. Roadkill~~ Only if I killed it myself, and then I'd still be pretty wary. I have a funny story about eating roadkill -- you know what, I'm not telling that story on the internet.
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie -- Packaged foods scare me. I have also never eaten a Twinkie, and I intend to keep it that way.
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky I'm sure I've tried it but I don't remember it making an impression.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef -- Not that I am aware of, but good Gods, what I would give to eat this.
86. Hare Actually, wait, no, I've had farmed rabbit but not wild hare. Does it still count?
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
~~89. Horse~~ I don't know, I don't have a lot of standards but this somehow is beyond me.
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa -- Sounds tasty!
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor -- Oooooooo, want!
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee -- I'm not much of a coffee freak.
100. Snake

For those keeping track at home, that's 65 out of 100, which I think is pretty damn good considering.

Sausages parte deux

2008-08-14T12:01:00.001-07:00

I have once again turned my hands toward producing delicious pork products.

The recipe I used is, of course, one of my own devising, which I call "Thank You, Mom! Sausages" (the reason for this will be quickly made clear).

~2.5 lbs pork butt (bought for me by my mom)
.5 lb pork back fat (bought for me by my mom)
handful fresh sage from my mom's garden
2 whole maces, from Granada (a treat given to me by my mom)
~1 tsp pepper
2 heaped tsp sea salt

Cube the fat and pork (trim as much fat and weirdness as you can from the meat). Freeze 30 minutes, then grind (fine disk). Chop sage very, very fine (I used a mini food processor), grind spices, add sage, spices, and salt to pig and knead well. Return mixture to freezer, freeze another 30 minutes. Grind again.

At this point you would stuff the casings (also bought for me by my mom). I am waiting on this part (it's hard work and I have friends coming over later to help!). To make sure it's tasty, I fried up a patty of it and OH MY STARS. The mace and the sage especially go really well together.

What I eat when Better Half isn't home

2008-08-08T08:21:00.001-07:00

nom nom nom
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Yes, the pinnacle of world cuisine: Spam and rice!

I grew up in Hawaii, and yes, I really do eat Spam. Not a lot (and I never ate much when I lived there), but about once a year I say to myself "Damn, I really want some Spam." So I get a can and make this. Calrose rice cooked in the Zojirushi, a small amount of salt added after cooking. Spam sliced and cooked in a pan, no oil (the Spam is greasy enough). If this were really Spam musubi, it would have a little seaweed wrap on it.

Berry Season

2008-08-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

I may possibly have purchased and eaten 5 pounds of raspberries in a single week and I may in fact have no regrets whatsoever.

Oh Oregon, I love you!

Little Baby Sheepies

2008-07-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

I really love lamb. I was grocery shopping today and got four French lamb chops (rib chops) for about 5 bucks because the sell by date is tomorrow. I brought them home and pan seared them (yay cast iron pan) with salt and pepper. I ate one and it was squisito, and I saved the rest for lunches for next week.

Happy 3.14!

2008-03-15T15:20:00.001-07:00

Happy 3.14!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I made pi cookies for pi day yesterday! I shaped them by hand, but I bet somebody makes a cutter.

Cross post! Medieval Mongolian food experiment

2008-03-11T21:46:00.001-07:00

Plausibly Medieval Mongolian Feast for One
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

For background information on medieval Mongolian cuisine, see the Red Khaganate's very nice page on food.

General remarks: Dairy figured prominently, as did lamb. Vegetables are almost entirely absent (exceptions being onions and garlic, I presume wild versions). Grain products (rice, millet, flour) would have been acquired via trading or raiding. There is little information on medieval Mongol cooking. However, rice cooked in milk and boiled meat served with salt water for dipping are found in at least a few references. I have not seen strong evidence for buuz (the dumplings of modern day Mongolia) but I think that they are an extremely plausible period food. The quantities given here (for buuz and rice, specifically) would serve about four -- I made lots so I would have leftovers. (My coworkers are always facinated by my lunches!)

My recreation:

See previous entry for details on buuz.

The cheese, meant to recreate the "fresh curds" mentioned in several sources, is whole milk brought to a gentle boil and curdled via addition of sour cream. Drain off the whey by straining through a cloth. Salt.

The meat was simply lamb (I used what was cheap at the meat counter, which happened to be blade steak), boiled. I did not boil it long enough. Boiled meat should be served separate from the broth, with a bowl of salt water for dipping. This is actually a pretty tasty way to eat meat, and I will probably do it again. However, I have decided to completely revise my view of this dish and instead do it like (duh, this seems obvious now) shabu-shabu or Mongolian hot pot -- small slices of meat cooked rapidly in boiling liquid. And for the record, I know that modern hot pot is not Mongolian. But I think that the approach (quickly cooking little bits rather than boiling larger hunks for a long time) seems like a good one.

For the rice, I combined 2 cups of short grain rice with 4 cups of milk, brought it to a boil, covered, lowered the heat (to medium, then later to low) and simmered for 20 minutes (15 may be sufficient). When it was done I added salt. I hate rice pudding, so I deliberately avoided having a mushy end product.

Remarks: This was a tasty dinner! My next foray into Mongolian historical cooking, though, will definitely be to re-read period references to the boiled meat feasts of the Mongols as a precursor to hot pot and see if this seems like a reasonable cooking method. I've never had hot pot, but I loooooooooooooove shabu-shabu. In fact just thinking about it has gotten me hungry...

Buuz

2008-03-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

Mongolian dumplings. Cross posted from Eulalia hath a blogge.

Dough:
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup white flour (unbleached)
Boiling water

Add water to flour, stirring constantly, until you have a slightly sticky dough. You don't need much water, I would estimate about half a cup. Knead several strokes (careful! it might still be really hot!) and set aside.

Filling:
4 ounces lamb (fatty cuts are good; I used blade steak)
3 scallions
2 garlic cloves
1/2 tsp salt

Finely mince lamb, scallions, and garlic cloves; add salt, mix well.

Divide the dough into 8 pieces and roll them out into fairly thin rounds. Divide filling between dough. Fold into little dumplings, sealing edges well (the easiest way is to fold them in half; or experiment with different ways of folding -- for inspiration, look here and scroll down). Oil the bottom of each dumpling and place in a steamer basket. Steam, covered, for 20 minutes.

Can be stored and reheated easily

Ha ha.

2008-02-25T16:56:00.000-08:00

It appears I have joined the rest of America: I 'sploded the handle on my new enameled cast iron dutch oven while baking bread.

Mwahahahahahaha

2008-02-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for Christmas dinner.

Each diner shall have a bowl of stew, and each bowl shall have floating in it a single maraschino cherry.

I made bear food

2007-12-24T23:03:00.001-08:00

Pemmican!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Better Half says it looks like bear poop.

Pemmican is easy, fun, and tasty.

(Click photo for more on the process.)

OH MAN

2007-12-20T10:58:00.001-08:00

A new restaurant just opened on Canyon, right in downtown Beaverton, called DJK Korean BBQ and Shabu Shabu. When I saw the sign about a month ago, I freaked out with joy. This is the one thing that I somehow never got around to in Hawaii, and I couldn't wait.

Well, I talked Better Half and Maternal Unit into going with me.

OH. MAN.

I think I've probably mentioned my quick method of assessing how good a restaurant is, but just in case: I like to be the only white person. That sounds unsavory when I read it now, but try not to think of it that way. I just mean that when I go and get "ethnic" food I like it to be authentic. Well, DJK did not disappoint. We were the only non-Korean people in the restaurant the whole time we were in there. Score one.

The service was good -- and the server spent some time showing us what to do. I didn't feel like a total oaf for not having been to a restaurant like that before. Score two.

The prices were really steep. Strike one. However, we could have (and probably should have) split an order of something, the portions were hunormous. Maybe we were ignorant white people, and you're supposed to split orders and the server was laughing into her sleeve the whole time. I don't know.

Every single thing was incredibly tasty. I loved all of the side dishes. As for meats, we got galbi (very good!), chadol gui (good), and... urr... I don't remember the third thing. But all of them were really, really good. There is something supremely delightful about piles of meat and piles of vegetables.

And no one got food poisoning! Hooray!

A+ would go back.

The Merry Survivalist

2007-12-13T18:50:00.001-08:00

Dinner tonight featured pemmican and dandelion buds (with an egg). Maybe I'll go have some hardtack!

Sea biscuit

2007-12-10T17:41:00.001-08:00

Everything it's cracked up to be
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Hardtack is fairly easy to make. I made a miniature batch from:

1 cup flour
1 tsp salt
Just enough water to form a slightly sticky dough (about 1/2 a cup)

Knead well. Roll out 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into squares (3" on a side) or circles. Use a fork, toothpick, or chopstick to make some holes in each biscuit. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes, then turn heat down to 250 for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool. Bake again (some say this works best if you do the second baking the next day) at 200 for 30 minutes.

There are many variants on the cooking times and temperatures. What's important is to cook them at least twice, and a low temperature is better than a high temperature.

As you can see from my expression, although these aren't as horrible as you have probably been led to believe, they aren't particularly good, either.

Cranberry Sauce

2007-11-24T10:06:00.001-08:00

Cranberry Sauce
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Homemade cranberry sauce is easy and delicious.

Recipe:

One bag of cranberries
Juice and zest of two oranges
1/2 cup water
1 cup sugar (or more if you have a sweet tooth)
1 tablespoon peeled and chopped fresh ginger

Simmer all ingredients for approximately twenty minutes or until the cranberries have mostly burst and the sauce has gelled. Serve it forth!

The Foodie Fainted

2007-11-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

Surely you have all heard of the eggplant recipe called "The Imam Fainted." There are two explanations for the fainting of the Imam upon being presented with the dish. Version one, it was so delicious, fainting was the only logical response. Version two, someone told him how much olive oil was used...

I reference this for a reason. I have finally learned of the existence of a culinary journal called Petits Propos Cullinaires and I think that I too may faint. I remain unsure if I am overwhelmed by joy or horror.

I... I want to get every single back issue. And click that link on the right for Index/Prices/Ordering! There's a whole list of books, and reading through the descriptions caused me to have heart palpitations. An entire history of eggs. Food preservation. HISTORY OF SWEETS. I... I... oh, Lord.

Quince jam!

2007-11-12T20:33:00.001-08:00

Quince jam!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I canned up some quince preserves which will probably end up as Christmas gifts.

I followed the same proceedure as for quince paste (chop up quinces, cover with water, boil until soft, puree with stick blender, add sugar, cook until solid) but didn't cook as long. I worry now that I didn't let it gel enough. Oh well, it will still be all right.

I love this color!

(The larger jar in the background is cranberry sauce that I made with the other members of my AmeriCorps team. So much fun!)

Pear and cheese pie. Tart. Whatever.

2007-11-11T20:05:00.001-08:00

Pear and cheese pie
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

This was crazy delicious.

The cheese part of the filling is:

1/4 c sugar
lots of nutmeg
1 egg
1/2 cup ricotta
1/2 cup sour cream

Seriously this shit was insane. I ate it for first breakfast. For second breakfast (which also happened to be elevenses!) I had toast and hard boiled eggs. It was a hobbity day!

Moderately embarrassing pastries

2007-11-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

I just read (and much enjoyed) The Gladiator's Honor by Michelle Styles. What am I becoming? Let's not worry about that for right now...

Well of course reading historical fiction makes me want to cook historically inspired food. So I started thinking about Rome and somehow the idea of little pastries came to me. I have no idea if anything like this was ever actually eaten in the Empire, but they tasted pretty good.

All I did was make a pie crust and cut it into little squares. I then filled each square with this filling:

-leftover roast chicken
-farmer's cheese (the soft kind, like ricotta)
-dried apricots
-cippolini onions
-a little red wine
-honey
-salt, cinnamon, and pepper

I ground everything in a food processor. I tried to add pistachios, but that didn't work so well. Place some in the middle of each square and fold over, forming a triangle. Prick each. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350F. I thought these turned out quite tasty, and they reheat well.

Serve with honeyed spiced wine and olives while wearing a makeshift toga or chiton. I find a long tablecloth works much better than a bedsheet. Suggested music: Anything that makes you feel like vomiting, having sex with slaves, then vomiting some more. An aromatic bath before hand is also highly reccommended. But remember, for historical accuracy, no soap.

Where there's smoke, there's... me cooking.

2007-11-04T08:54:00.000-08:00

When I cook tasty little birdies in my oven, I cook them as per the directions in How to Cook Everything: breast down, 500 degrees, 20 minutes. Remove, flip, baste, return to oven. Turn oven down to 350 and roast until thermometer in thigh registers 160-165. This results in a most succulent breast and OH SO CRISPY OM NOM NOM crispy skin.

It also, somewhat hillariously, results in my entire apartment filling with smoke. Am I a bad cook if I set off the fire alarm on a regular basis?

Maybe I just need to clean the oven.

Last night's dinner:
-One lovely fat little chicken with: lemon slices, thyme and garlic (inserted under the skin and also in the cavity), olive oil, salt and pepper (generously masaged into its skin)
-Tiny potatoes (I just put them around the chicken during the breast-up part of the cooking, brushing them with a little of the pan drippings)
-Gravy, to impress Better Half

Followed by:
-Ice cream sundaes! Maybe this is why I'm so fat!

Better Half, who is normally kind of opposed to whole animals, really enjoyed the chicken. Probably because I carved it for her.

After the chicken had cooled, I removed the "oysters" and ate them with my fingers. I can't wait to have kids so I can share treats like that with them, the way my mom shared them with me.

YESSSSSSSSSSS

2007-09-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Breyer's makes lactose free ice cream. I got so excited in the grocery store I almost started crying.

There... there is a God! And She does love me!

Tonight's Lesson: You Probably Shouldn't Drink and Cook

2007-09-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Several margaritas later I find myself remembering that I had intended to make coleslaw*. My go-to cookbook only has a "light and spicy" version which is totally unacceptable and incidentally out of character for this cookbook. The internet is far away. Better Half then gets to listen to me yell "FUCK IT! I'M A GREAT COOK! I AIN'T NEED NO RECIPE!" as I stomp around the kitchen.

Despite using sharp and scary tools and never having made slaw before, 1) there were no injuries and 2) it turned out great.

Approximately what I did: slapped some mayo in a bowl, added a dab of homemade mustard, a drizzle of apple cider vinegar, and a skosh of sugar, then whipped thoroughly. I tasted it and added more sugar and vinegar. Then I grated in carrots and tried and failed to grate in red cabbage. So I sliced the cabbage thinly and then chopped my slices and mixed it all together. It tasted pretty good. I'm going to let it sit in the refrigerator a while then taste it again -- I may add salt and pepper.

*I had a good sandwich today at a large chain establishment that rhymes with Icy Ickle that had coleslaw on it. I thought that was a smart idea and they were out of sprouts at the grocery which are my normal veg of choice for sandwiches so this week's sands shall have the slaw.

I am a big scary bear

2007-09-13T17:39:00.001-07:00

We went to Sushi Ville last night (on 23rd and Quimby, I think) and it was oh so very good. I ate nothing but nigiri (just rice and delicious raw fishies) which is uncharacteristic for me. I EAT RAW FISH LIKE BEAR RARRRRRRRRRRRR Then for the grand finale I had a spider roll. The crab was still hot from the fryer and crunched satisfactorily.

RRRRAARRR FISHIES JUMP IN MY MOUTH RARRRRRR

Foodie on Vacation

2007-09-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

I just got back from visiting my dad, which is more accurate than saying I just got back from a trip to Hawaii because I barely left the house, and I certainly didn't do any touristy crap.

But there were some high points of the trip:
-KOREAN BBQ OMG. With macaroni salad. Hell yes.
-Sushi. New favorite fish: hamachi.
-Waiola shave ice!!!!!!!!!! I got li hing mui and lychee with ice cream in the bottom and it was just as good, maybe better, than I remember it. AUGAHGAUGAHGALAGUGALGHA (drooling noise a la Homer Simpson)
-The ribs my dad made in his smoker. I made the marinade!
-Finding Dole Whip at the airport! I thought this stuff was gone forever!
-Daquiris made with fresh mangos from my dad's tree.

Low points include the NINE FRICKIN' DOLLARS I paid for the shittiest sandwich ever while in the airport. That's okay, I had some overpriced fruity cocktails to help me choke it down.

When foodies recreate

2007-09-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

It is with no small measure of pride that I report a new personal best: lovingly carrying the most perfect and beautiful chanterelles TWO MILES over scorching sand dunes so that I might eat them. I cooked them in just the tiniest bit of butter with a little kosher salt, and OH they were divine!

Even though I had hiked five hours that day, in total, over said scorching dunes, and was insanely sunburned and so sore I could barely move, I found myself debating how hard it would be to make the trek back to get those I left behind. But I left them, for another, or for the chipmunks and the trees. Why be greedy? There will be more.

What serendipity, to find such beauties! Ah, mushrooms! Is there anything so fine? I think not. There's no thrill like finding mushrooms, especially when you aren't looking for them. Maybe eating them. But I think the finding is sometimes even better.

How they turned out

2007-08-29T17:14:00.001-07:00

Deutsch!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

By the way, this is the lunch I made myself with the sausages -- also featuring braised red cabbage and those little dumplings that come in a box. I think they're called Spaetzle.

Final verdict: pretty good! I of course always have criticism of my work (they burst out from the ends of the casings, which caused them to lose flavor), but for a first effort I'm pretty proud of myself.

Fear me.

2007-08-29T17:08:00.001-07:00

Now that I've made sausages and survived (it wasn't as difficult or traumatic as everyone always suggests it will be), I find myself with an unshakeable hankering to make... haggis. What better way to get my Scottish on?

Burns Night is January 25th. I think that's enough lead time to find someone who will sell me sheep guts, isn't it?

Tada!

2007-08-27T15:34:00.001-07:00

Tada!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Arrange the links on a platter, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate a few hours (even overnight) to let the flavors get to know each other.

18. Snip apart

2007-08-27T15:33:00.001-07:00

Snipped apart
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Snip the individual links apart and cut off the extra casing from each original end. I used kitchen shears, but apparently a sharp knife works as well / better.

17. Twist into links

2007-08-27T15:32:00.001-07:00

Links
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

When you've finished stuffing, take each long piece and twist it off into individual links. As you can see, my first pass wasn't particularly even.

16. STUFF THEM SAUSAGES!

2007-08-27T15:30:00.001-07:00

Guide the casing
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Turn on your Kitchen Aid. Feed the meat mixture into the grinder slowly.

Using those stubby yet still dextrous fingers and the fat, somewhat square hands at the ends of your massive Deutsch forearms, carefully guide the sausages as they fill.

This is the moment of glory.

When you get near the end of a casing piece, carefully pull it off and set the sausages aside.

Repeat loading up some casing and carefully stuffing it until you've used all of your meat.

15. Tie off the end

2007-08-27T15:23:00.001-07:00

Tie off the end
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Tie off the end of the casing, and we're ready to stuff!

So much excitement! It all comes down to this! etc!

The filling is ready!

2007-08-27T15:20:00.001-07:00

Stuffing ready to go
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Here's what the final product looks like after the second grind.

Casings after final soaking

2007-08-27T15:19:00.003-07:00

Casings after final soaking
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

You can see how plump and supple the casings get after the final soaking.

14. Load the casings onto the funnel

2007-08-27T15:19:00.001-07:00

Ready the funnel
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

If you're doing this with a Kitchen Aid, you have to take apart and reassemble your attachment so that it's set up to stuff and not grind. Once you've got that all ready, you open one end of a piece of casing, slide it onto the little funnel thing, and then just keep sliding more and more casing on there. It may help to grease the funnel before hand, but I didn't feel like it was necessary.

13. Grind again

2007-08-27T15:16:00.001-07:00

Grind again
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Grind the meat and seasonings together, again using the fine disk.

Now is a good time to fry a small patty to make sure you like the seasoning balance.

12. Wait again

2007-08-27T15:09:00.003-07:00

Let the meat freeze and the casings soak for 30 minutes (again).

I figured we didn't need to show my clever picture a second time.

11. Soak the casings again

2007-08-27T15:09:00.001-07:00

Soak with vinegared water
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Soak the casings again, this time with one tablespoon of vinegar for every cup of water. You don't have to use fancy vinegar, your basic distilled white works quite well. I just don't happen to have any in the house, so I'm using my least fancy apple cider vinegar.

Fully rinsed

2007-08-27T15:06:00.001-07:00

Fully rinsed
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

This is what the casings look like after they've been fully rinsed. As you can see, they are starting to look much nicer than they did at the beginning of this project.

Puffy!

2007-08-27T15:05:00.001-07:00

Rinse the inside
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

This is what the casings look like full of water. See, they go from horrible worms, to beautiful sea creatures...

10. Rinsing the insides of the casings

2007-08-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

Ready to rinse again
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

The idea here is to run cool water through the casings. I was a little freaked by the idea of putting intestines directly on my faucet, so I used the stuffing funnel. Put one end of the casing on the end of the funnel, put the dish of the funnel up to the faucet, and SLOWLY turn on the water.

9. Freeze Again

2007-08-27T15:02:00.001-07:00

Freeze Again
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Put the seasoned meat back in the freezer.

8. Blend

2007-08-27T15:00:00.001-07:00

Blend
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Knead together the ground meat/fat and all seasonings (fresh, spices, salt and pepper).

The meat was so cold it made my hands hurt.

Also note in the background of some of these photos is a cook's best friend, a book stand.

7. Grinding, Part One

2007-08-27T14:58:00.001-07:00

Grinding
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Using the fine disk, grind your meat (and fat if applicable). Use the handy pusher to feed the meat into the grinder.

Otto sez:

"Whoa, just like Pink Floyd!"

6. Spices

2007-08-27T14:56:00.001-07:00

Spices
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Grind your spices and set aside.

Actually I got lazy and used my coffee grinder that is only used for spices, but the mortar and pestle looked too cool to not include.

5. Chopping

2007-08-27T14:55:00.001-07:00

Seasoning
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Chop the onion and sage (or whatever other fresh seasonings you're using) and set aside.

4. Wait

2007-08-27T13:07:00.003-07:00

Time
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Let the casings soak and the meat freeze for 30 minutes.

3. Rinse the casings

2007-08-27T13:07:00.001-07:00

Casings
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Gently rinse the casings, smallish sections at a time (mine came conveniently pre-sectioned, I don't know if this is normal) under cool running water. Transfer them to a bowl, cover with more cool water, and let soak.

Casings

2007-08-27T13:04:00.001-07:00

Casings
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

This was the only part of this whole operation that I started to get squeamish. They looked like such gigantic horrible worms, and they were all covered with salt and this came from the inside of a pig and that's where the poo is made and... and...

I had to take a few deep breaths before going on. But once I was recovered I just took out about as much of the casing as I thought I would need (I ended up having too much, but I was hoping for that rather than too little) and got down to rinsing it.

2. Freeze

2007-08-27T13:02:00.001-07:00

Freeze
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Put the cubed meat in the freezer.

1. Cube the meat (and fat if using)

2007-08-27T13:01:00.001-07:00

Cube
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Cut your meat into (approximately) 1-inch cubes. Ditto fat, if you're adding it.

Mise en place

2007-08-27T13:00:00.001-07:00

Set up
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Part one: get all of your gear and ingredients ready.

For today, I used the following.

Gear:

Kitchen Aid (artisan)
Meat grinder attachment for K.A.
Sausage stuffer attachment for K.A.
Mortar and pestle (which I eventually gave up on in favor of my coffee grinder that is only used for spices)
Measuring cups and spoons
One large ceramic bowl
One not quite as large stainless steel bowl
Two smallish glass bowls
Cutting board
Large, sharp knife
Kitchen shears
Sharp paring knife
Optional but helpful: kitchen scale

Ingredients:
Natural piggy casings (I don't have a good sense of how much you need per amount of meat -- I bought enough for twenty pounds, so I used a little over a quarter of what I had)
6.5 lbs pork shoulder (it was quite fatty, so I opted not to add fat to my sausages)
1 walla walla sweet onion
1/2 oz fresh sage
1 T Kosher salt or coarse sea salt
1 T freshly ground black pepper
1 T mustard seed
1 t caraway seed

You will also need:
Some vinegar
Lots of water
Plenty of sanitizing hand soap

You may want:
Latex/neoprene/vinyl gloves

I found instructions in a book called "Home Sausage Making" that my wonderful mom gave to me.

BWA HA HAAAAAAA

2007-08-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

Join us today as I will be posting frequent updates throughout the day on Operation: Sausage. That's right, folks, I've got pork shoulder, I've got casings, I've got a meat grinder, WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE???? I also have Hefeweizen and a proud German heritage.

Theoretically I'll be taking process pictures along the way, too.

It should be epic.

I must be shriven

2007-08-21T16:52:00.000-07:00

I have sinned: many times have I lied, before the Gods and to my fellow man. Many times I have said that I was happy, and I was not.

Never until yesterday had I even known what it was to be truly happy. Now I know, because now I have a food grinder (and optional sausage stuffer!!!) attachment for my Kitchen Aid, and using it was so amazing that I cried a little.

Ah! The day when I buy casings shall be epic!

The world may never be safe again. Where is my oompah music? The only thing that could make this joy more complete would be if I owned a smoker. Of course, I'm already trying to come up with ways to suspend things in my fireplace. I'll let you know how that goes (most likely result: eviction; second: death).

And for a moment, I saw God.

2007-07-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

Better Half recently accused me of doing nothing but read erotica and start messy art projects when she's not home. This is patently false. I hate erotica, and I save the messiest projects for when she's home so that I can better vex her. No, what I do when I'm alone is eat foods that I know horrify her. For example, today I bought a package of soft shell crab sushi at the (very very nice) Asian grocery store (that I love). I ate them in my car, knowing that the popping of the tobiko and the bug-like legs sticking out of my mouth would have resulted in an argument were I not alone.

But where I'm really going with this is that wasabi packets included with grocery store sushi (which I only buy at this one place, because grocery store sushi is horrible in general) are the devil's work. They are a pickle to open, and so I resorted as I always do to my teeth. This went pretty well, until I inadvertantly squeezed a bunch of wasabi into my mouth.

OH. HOLY. GODS.

It was so hot I actually rolled my eyes back and gasped in pain. I felt it in my neck. Jesus. I thought I was going to die.

Pie!

2007-07-08T18:02:00.001-07:00

Pie!
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

I made a pie!

Made with raspberries that I picked myself. Some years back, Better Half requested that I make her a pie with a crumb top and then a lattice top over that. Now that's how I make all my pies! It is totally ridiculous and over the top but a great crowd pleaser.

Lemon Nutmeg Cookies

2007-06-30T08:47:00.001-07:00

Cream together:
1 stick butter (softened)
1/2 cup sugar

Beat in:
3 egg yolks
Zest of one lemon
A little salt
Juice of 1/2 lemon
Freshly grated nutmeg, to taste

Add slowly:
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 t baking powder

Roll between two sheets of wax paper, chill, cut out. Bake at 300F for 10 minutes.

I iced them, too. And here's a nice indication of the kind of operation I run in my kitchen: (My internal monologue) Damn, I don't have any food coloring. I don't want white icing! Well, that's okay, I'll just grind up a little saffron using the smaller mortar. Yeah, that's how I roll.

Hasty Quiche

2007-06-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

one crust for a 9" pie

1 Trader Joe's package of baby spinach
1/2 of one large sweet onion
6 eggs
1/2 c half and half
lots of grated sharp English cheddar
black pepper
fresh rosemary

Chop the spinach small. Slice the onion. Chop the rosemary as finely as you can. Blend filling, pour into shell. Bake 45 minutes at 350 degrees.

Noooooooooooooooo

2007-06-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

On a whim I bought a tiny bit of some goat milk cheddar at New Seasons.

It was incredible, remarkable, delicious, hyperbolic.

It is TWENTY GODDAMN DOLLARS PER POUND!

I will never have this treat again :-(

A very tasty dinner

2007-06-16T07:36:00.001-07:00

A very tasty dinner
Originally uploaded by laurelfactorial

Here we go, the first in what will no doubt become a popular feature: easy and delicious meals using ingredients from Trader Joe's.

You will need:
-Tomatoes (I went with the high lycopene on the vine little ones)
-Sour cream
-Beef (I went with a small amount of sirloin)
-Jasmine rice (1 cup uncooked)
-Chicken broth (1.5 - 2 cups)
-Olive oil
-Saffron (to taste)
-Garlic (proportional to the amount of meat you have)
-Onions (proportional to the amount of meat you have)
-Cumin (to taste)
-Pepper (to taste)
-Salt (to taste -- you don't need much at all!)
-Sumac (very little, it has quite a punch) (okay okay so you can't get this one at Trader Joe's)
-Some kind of bread -- you can make pita, or I bought this lavosh stuff.

Chop the tomatoes roughly and set aside. Chop your onions and garlic very finely. I used a little food processor. Slice the beef into fairly thin strips, and mix together the raw beef, onions and garlic, pepper, salt, cumin, and sumac. While this is getting acquainted, make your rice. In a very small saucepan, bring the rice and broth to a boil. (The more broth you use the softer the rice will be. This is a matter of personal taste, but be warned that it is very easy to end up with mushy and gross rice.) Turn down the heat to low, cover, and cook for 20 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand. Cook the beef in the olive oil on moderately high heat. This will work out better in a large pan where you can get the beef fully spread out (you want to sear it, not stew it). To serve, put a little pile of rice on your bread, and spread the beef and tomatoes over this. Top with sour cream. Roll up like a super trendy oh my Gods I can't believe I'm writing these words wrap, and stuff your face.

For maximum effect, serve with mint tea in a room decorated with Orientalism prints whilst wearing a Ghawazee coat and playing a bellydancing CD.

(If you live in Portland, you might recognize this for what it is: an attempt to recreate or at least echo my favorite dish at a certain very good Lebanese restaurant. You should also know that it's not as good as their version.)

Not to sound all Food Network, but this makes a really great weeknight dinner (definitely less than an hour start to finish), and the leftovers are easy to take to work for lunch. It's also pretty enough that I think you could serve it to company (certain company) -- try making a nice cucumber salad to go with, and maybe some hummus; buy some baklava for dessert.