Sunday, March 20, 2011
Getting my teeth pulled on Friday has completely thrown a wrench into all of this. I just can't manage real food -- all I've been eating are smoothies, soft processed carbs, yogurt, and milkshakes. I did make myself some nutritious chicken glop (with sort of a medieval feel to it -- chicken cooked in almond milk with pomegranate molasses and spices) and pureed greens, but even that was just too much for me. I'm definitely making choices based on what seems the easiest and I'm also for sure "eating my emotions." This experience has freaked me out more than I thought it would and I'm in pain even with the painkillers (I am trying to take the minimum dose I can manage and I held out on taking narcotic pain medication until late last night). I feel like I'm taking some major steps backwards in my journey toward wellness and non-crazy eating, but I have decided not to beat myself up about it too much. It's kind of like how when we took the dog to puppy class and he would be much more poorly behaved than normal and the trainer pointed out how much better it was for him to be ill behaved in the unique circumstance than every day -- if I can recognize that this extreme circumstance, which will almost certainly never happen again (prior to this I had never even really had a filling), is an anomaly, it doesn't have to mean I've failed or even mean I'm taking steps backward. I am instead going to take it as retreating to regather before making a major leap forward.